GO GO GO~~~!!!!

sianz,think i have to go for the c0mmencement liao..me mum wills it,and its their degree anyhow-they paid for it...so,i should be very enthusiatic about it..n tell them that wow,after a day,i have been enlightened and thus feels the burning desire to go..erm,watever la,no need so soon...
neway wonder if i should follow up on email to friend, is it normal to not receive a reply after 3 days?(n no,yan,not tokking about u,ha) perhaps friend doesn't use this email regularly,or too busy to check email recently..or perhaps i should just send sms,far simpler..
neway saw a friend st from ns on fri, been a longtime..then again quite weird,cuz saw ylup from same bmt plato0n earlier in the day,tokked about chinups,which then led me to think about this friend st that i met (cuz we used to have a lot of trouble assisting him, he had rather heavy bones, i think)...nehow,most of us dun see one another anymore..i dun even see same-bday friend le,though he oso lives in the area..

sidetracking,i am so gonna bwang tml's test...

dichotomies and shades of grey

hmm...not really sure wtf i'm doing here,since i shud be in bed..but,since i'm here,might as well make the most of it..

was thinking of collaboration..n remembering wat ah mak said in class about it, case study malena..no black-and-white's, all shades of grey..which leads to a work of fiction i recently..consumed..kax would know about it,though he may not know he knows..NNNNnnnnewayz..so,hmm..kinda lost my thoughts for awhile..so,neway about collaboration..and the related topic of occupation..well,no one here knows any other other than the japanese one..anyway..demonized ideas of them aren't new..nor totally fiction..just that,the -ve's played up and the +ve's down..well,linking the idea of demonizing to west-special-joy,no one wants to think about the possibility that anyone could have done whatever was done..so,they are especially evil..can't (dun want to) be explained..anomaly..well,if only i could believe that..for life went on under the evils, in a more-or-less normal fashion..so..bad things happened,good things happened..shit happens wen there r people, n any person can do anything,put in the right environment,had the right background,has the right buttons pushed...so,my world is grey..or greyer than how most people might see it..which is why i'd probably hate moral crusaders

not that it's related in anyway watsoever,but i like this alot..forgot who said it,ah hong or bruce: history has changed from an ontological issue to an epistemological issue..

neway i like ah mak..he can be quite inspiring sometimes..too bad i'm a lil' too cynical to be inspired much..then again,any bit is a good bit..quoting 177urfett, "the oomph"~

i'm getting extremely adept in showing my use of time in the form of time-wasting..

sianz is my middle name

was looking at this page,then decided i had nothing i wanted to write about..but after a visit to another site (i.e. time-wasting, of which i have extreme expertise), i decided that..tsk,i am sad cuz they killed cap :( though i think his wings and boots are kinda erm..uncool, i never thought they'd kill him..though it probably won't last long (juz look at hawk-i)

neway..my vice is comics..han's is shoes,meng's is booze (n manga)..sianz..working less is supposed to let me take a step back from it all,but..but..i juz am not..kns
oh well..

i should start talking to people..about serious and adult stuff..like the future..sigh..why bother thinking and planning when it doesn't matter neway?read an article sometime back,that most people dunno wat they wanna do,and even if they do,they are probably wrong..so,all this career-planning bs is juz that..we are playing a global game,n i'm not having fun :(

windy night..

hmm..recently been thinking about this question from H0lb0's class..i am not the same person that i was yesterday,of last month,or last year..or 5 min ago..so,i'm in flux..which means,the me that was me 5 min ago doesn't exist anymore..no more..became something else now..so,that means that for people u (ok,i) don't see often, or for a very long time, the person i think of as my friend isn't the same person as i know le..my friend was the friend whom i last saw,not who i'm seeing now..which links me to another topic..say,u haven't seen a (rather close) friend (from the past) for a long time..then,meet up and talk about stuff..how do u noe u are still (relatively) close friends?like,see if you still feel close?feel the chemistry?tsk,looked up the definition,and the various definitions don't look very...useful..so neway,definition of friend involves either practical considerations or subjective personal opinions/feelings..so going by the latter angle,how you know for sure?like,if u think of someone as a clsoe friend,n think that you get along well,how do you know that it's reciprocal?like,the person could be the same way towards all his other normal (i.e. less than close) friends,no? so..if u meet up with a close [friend from before=A] n the [person now=B] isn't [the same person as before i.e. A] (cuz obviously people change), are you still close friends with the person (A who is now B)? which links back to the first question..since people are in flux, then what u feel towards/think about them are..not updated,no?then the person u are feeling for/thinking about (from the past) doesn't really exist in the now then,ya?so that entity has effectively ceased to exist,to be replaced by a newer version of the person u used to noe but don't noe now...

then again,this problem (of not actually knowing) would still persist even with constant contact and communication,since nobody really noes what others actually are inside. hmm,i believe i just demonstrated my waste of time...

F.eels like ice tokking

kaoz,i is idiot..idiot idiot idiot..luckily no permanent/lasting damage..neway,i think i like the p0pular at bra5 ba5ah complex,many interesting books..hmm..neway went walking around today,got some stuff i needed,din get some stuff i wanted..tsk,oh well,another day..neway spect0r's m0m sick,hope she's ok..but,but...in comes farre||..tink i still have the scars from my last module under him..but,at least assignments all cleared liao,can juz whack readings,midterms,then exams..damn,now nam gonna be my most siao-on mod le..another newayz..pool is thru,woohoo~ though a bit nerve-wrecking at the end..

ok,since i'm on a roll here...i seem to recall h0mefield mentioning sth about am0rtalk0mbat..then..i seem to be able to conjure up replication a bit better when i'm half-asleep/awake.oh well,it probably seemed an improvement cuz everything's fuzzy in that state of mind..improvement is already slipping now..shit,concentration's gone..i dun wanna work on assignment le,just leave it as it is now..well,considering how things are now,sometimes you (ok fine,i) have to wonder if i've made a mistake..well obviously i have made mistakes,but not about the general..talking about specific mistakes..then again,seeing how things turn out,its not that hard to convince self that its for the better..wait.i lack sleep.yawn.making less sense than usual.

vermillion - slipknot
world so cold - mudvayne
fade to black - metallica

hmm,

and...i can't even produce a replication that looks anything like..and i thought the last attempt was bad,ha.
no ability,no imagination,no memory,no sense,no intelligence,no skills,no hope,no courage,no eq,no learning,no improvement,no spine,no nothing.

week 7

so...had a sucky presentation..received rather surprising grades for 2 assignments..saw a specialist and calmed my paranoia..lost my watch..had a rather fun (by my standards) gathering with cv..missed 1st half of a good match..drank some very gao milk-chocolate-dunnowat (supposed) alcohol..went legend's house..watched vv..met up with old choir members..trying to continue with assignment..and so,30min to week 8...

tsk...i so wish i can skip the in-between's and go into sp1neshank,RHR was about 57 higher than average..hmm,for all my bitching about their PC-learning curves, i suppose mine has hit a plateau by now,assuming i've made any headway there at all..then again,i suppose i should be grateful for the little things in life ba..then again,it was nice seeing b0rys again,still as frenly as ever..neway i dun like this year's version of m1ssa brev1s,sounds too...happy?

maybe i should just screw the considerations,go be a teacher for 3 years (or watever) n jump off a building at the end of bond.at least that sounds like a concrete plan.

this is so sp1neshank night...