hmm...pretty much unproductive again.plus read off the screen till my eyes went pop.fine,nearly went.ok,only reason i'm here is to whine 'bout how bloody disappointing the trailer for autumn twilight is.they should've outsourced the animation to the japanese,haiz.o well,at least 08 will be a good year for adaptations.i hope.erm.guess end-of-the-year blues should be passing soon.at least,i hope so.i think.without cv,my life would be so empty(er)-haven't seen 3880,gnap and co for ages.and bestie too,come to think of it.hmm...oh and i should be feeling so bad for not being effortful enuff about gifts,but...i'll heck it for now.contrast is exacerbated when everyone is (supposedly) having fun and being (apparently) happy,eh?misery likes company.1 more countdown and i'm done for the year.can't hardly wait~~

tired n grumpy.

tiring.after concert came all the carolling.erm,then haven't been productive for work at all.neway.went for shopping spree last fri with han and j0li.seems ch0ir is at a crossroad now.dunno la,see how things go.been spending quite a lot (by my standards) on booze (getting to understand u better,0pt).drinking meself broke.in order to...feel just as crappy as i usually do?hmm..oh well,like the g00dfellas,but the drinks are getting boring.dun see much time for drinks anyway.erm...wat else?oh right.been stupider than usual (even by my standards) recently.maybe due to lack of proper sleep.like,really.stupid.like,bought-a-portable-hdd-to-backup-stuff-in-order-to-reformat-lappie-but-ended-up-formatting-portable-hdd-and-in-the-process-losing-every-fucking-thing-i-had-backed-up-and-many-of-the-stuff-are-non-retrievable stupid.and the amount of phasing i do,i should be pryde.or maybe with the amount of remembering i do,i should be prodigy.but he remembers all stuff,i only useless.i suppose i always did have a soft spot for alt.(off the point-but then,alt is relative to the mainstream.)
oops.am thankful for all the gifts received.i suppose i shud feel a lil guilty,but since i dinno wat to get everybody,i just din get everybody sth,ha.thanx song for the dinner (and various lunches,drinks,etc).
time to sleep.actually way past it.oh right before i go-merry fucking x'mas.

f0ff

took off for the day to go shopping.after checking my list,realized that quite jialat ar,din even manage to get half of wat i planned to. oh well, sour legs take priority. then saw clarabe||e later in the evening at the cathay, she gonna be a writer!sounds exciting.yawn.i started the day saying sian and i ended the day exactly.shite.its a season thing.repeat till sounds convincing.i hope boozing for The Party is gonna be on fri,if on sat then i gotta regulate liao :( anyway today session not as bad as previous 2 - legend think sits his credit, but i think its just the sound system,ha..4 more days, and its over.endofyears are usually bad seasons for me.hmm,sounds like this year's an exception, which it's not.neway kinda found out the reason for apparent scandal.doesn't seem like much to me leh.oh well.
after the tok with gnap the other nite,think not very wise ar.reariew mirror more than usual.season isn't helping.neither is the crowd.hmm...
neway good to noe u feeling better.hope it lasts too. :)
wanna devildr1ver till 08.

quiet day

talked to gnap juz now,for a while.everyone's having problems.neway reminded me of when she knew i was down but dinnoe wat to do.well,as long as you dun get kicked in the teeth when you're down,can't really ask for much, can you?reminded me of..bleedings past and present.neway,matters not.still not as busy as i shud be.perhaps i am juz waiting for my prescribed kick up my Rs.kinda tiring oso.get more supplements,ha.neway drank a bit of the stuff that jess passed me-eww,despite kind intentions.or maybe i juz got the prep instructions wrong,ha..
planned to stay late last and to nite, but got kinda sidetracked.and was so upbeat wen yan jio'd drink i nearly ran there.dammit,i tot there was gonna be some booze involved.neway nice to meet up, however short the time is.
neway,despite my incessant whining about work,i guess i'm still pretty lucky in terms of work environment ba.for now,ha.
oops,good luck for car0lling later.who's zai in doing sound check?

MiDec

fuck.this is the worst start to a lousy week lor.played like crap.neway.recap.
perf0rmance last nite, din start too well i tot, but got better. neway its over,so its a relief.now only left car0lling liao.well,on top of watever i'm supposed to finish by end of the year.haiz...after that went k0pitiam (again), then on to t1mbre.band's good.drinks...ok la,but price... ...tsk.i hope it wun become a habit.went for car0lling prac today,got a lift from shuj's dad.went thru e songs with them,at least during the start.after that i juz sorta got...bleeded.neway.went for dinner after that,thought of catching a show before heading over to han's,but heng he updated me kick0ff time.so,headed over for a sian match.i think our combi is jinxed.shud try conference call from different locations next time.blah.off to sleep le.

wasted cab fare again today.saw sinseh, think its hard to be an optimist with him.everytime i'm informed of new problems,hai..neway.apparently we got a lil' publicity.at least,i hope we got a lil'.if its a lot,i dun dare to think about it.sorry if i'm being a wet blanket spoiler,but i just don't think its a good idea.not now neway.need to go shopping.for whatever.but,its such a crowdy time to go out...
silver lining-dark knight looks good,heh.2008 will be a good year.

lucky derek

saw derek today, nice that he still remembers me,despite it being nearly 2 years, and my head weighing a bit lighter than before. working on a project here,leaving on sat le. well,glad for him that move to US turned out pretty well.days are pretty quiet recently,which is a good thing.not that i'm shaking leg though-think i'm gonna lag like crazy for work.think its a pretty fair assessment that i dun really dig research.still,its nice to learn new and interesting things over the course of it.like pepper and chrysanthemum,haha..oh well,off to bed.

hibernate...

shite.i had to think it.from one to another.or one from another.watever.neway.fase passed,to replaced by a... fase.neway.1 week.actually 5+ days la.pray for the best...neway weather these days are not conducive for..living.wanna just curl up in bed and stay there.ya still there.wat passes for my mind, that is.
and read a ST article.commiserate.on a slightly brighter note,i think ankle is actually better.i can almost feel it being ok when i chase after a bus in my mind.still.should go check it out again,wan it over and done with (not too likely though).because.i am thinking of running during cny break.hmm,i am sadded,i actually have to plan in advance for running.yan-stay where u r for s long s u can.i'm sure i can join u for annyouass run.someday.on an even brighter note,discovered a song that i like.for all the wrong reasons.blah.

meet ups..

hmm..met up with hist0ry guys (and gals and shao and darryl) for hitman..was wondering y we watched this, then realized they mostly gamers,ha. well, i guess i might have enjoyed the show better if i had played it before. newayz. shao and paul went back after the show, one to mug and the other to mark. the rest of us except eleen went to b0rders cafe to zbl. talked abit, bitched alot, ate sth, drank sth. man, i miss days spent at asone. nehow, time to disperse. me n j0hn stayed back to hang around a while more, n zo0 oso. after that all went home. yay. pretty glad i went. now where do i get the pics?

neway. met up wif cvks for dinner on sun for yap's bday. was fun and all, everyone was pretty subdued at 1st, prob cuz it took forever for the food to arrive. neway the lychee mart1n1 was good,ha. ate some stuff, drank somemore stuff. i din have too much.but itch came back nehow.darnit.

went back nuslib for a while today.how i miss ann. neway was caught in e rain before,so was squishing around in my soggy clothes and socks.bloody cold.neway had enough of serious stuff, and called to see if prof l0ckhart was around.he was,so i dropped in for a chat. more like whine session, peppered with a bit of trading of info. and somehow everything seems more doable. feel overwhelmed - half the reason is cuz of me, half of it cuz of, well, not me. well, hope something constructive comes outta it. neway saw dr quek there oso. and i still haven't parked my arse at new arts canteen yet. hmm, last x'mas eve i hid in honrm, still remember it rained pretty heavy then. kinda nostalgic for nites spent there ar,ha..oh well, i suppose i need a coupla years to grow outta it.

somehow the prospect of fucking up isn't that much of a fear now.well,wats done is done,see how it goes. neway my lap seems kinda dying. i'd be glad, if not for a) my brokeness and b) the relative youth of it. sianz...seemed pretty serious last night.oh well.

now for the many-times-postponed meetup with gnap.and wif 1880, prob new yr eve or sth.

oh right. and thanx yan for ur thanksgiving msg. how...heartwarming.

"and i want a ponytail"

walked down memory lane, kinda literally though not exactly a lane, coupla weeks back. hardly recognizable which is normal. well. can't say i'm remembering a lotta things, but a few surface every now and then. nvm. neway stanchart this sun, which i'm probably not going for. darn, 2nd year in a row that i've paid only for the racepack. jumping to unrelated and uncomprehended stuff, how come no one else seems to be...concerned?or maybe its just the way its being handled.work is..floody.as in,just the sheer volume of it is drowning me.want this want that.damn.should have found a richer grandkid of ah gong to support me.

of dumb fucks and 3Ds..

been pretty consistent. in being busy. sometimes i just sit n stone. and sianz cuz i'm stoning instead of working. still, today was a pretty good change. a reprieve from...stuff. and seminar was not as boring as it might have been.quite interesting, apart from rather rude people, in my opinion. don't think it's just mine. and the lack of a proper p break :(
so. saw some quotes from zappa about religion. never thought about it in those terms before, but i suppose its true. So, just be a dumb fuck and you'll all go to heaven.
oh.and eve made it to the papers. hmm..the 2 people they tokked to are kinda rather rich. be rich to be cultured. actually, be rich to be watever you want.

neway. saw ga1den2 on a game mag, the 3 D's caught my eyes. bummer its only for 36o. then again, i could always get and go to han's. hmm...

towards a sleepy freeze. i wish.

hmm..feel the lack of energy. or drive. or..something positive. which is worrying. neway, guess it's about time for an evaluation. regardless, gonna be in at least till all commitments are cleared.
neway A7X v0cals sound a lil' like dra1man. pretty nice overall.
bought the book that i had missed a few weeks ago. abit less oomphy than i had expected, like reading a longer version of the mag. which, i think, is the point.
walked around a bit over the weekend. been seeing the x'mas decor around. crowdhell juz round the corner. should start on watever little shopping i plan to do soon.
oh.just remembered.m0zart of spit does a damn good bell sound.kinda dawned upon me wat an insane amount of money i spent on a genre i dun even like much. still, it was good.
some good, part of fase seems to be passing. only a matter of time before rest of it passes too.

seems a cold night. hope it doesn't rain.

midweek.

s1nseh-hopping..and i never seem to get good news when i see them. somehow, the prospect of nights running around annyouass seems very far away now. neway, been told to get an axerae. when i got e time n mood ba. supposed to be patient, adj and noun. well, if i could settle e backlog going under the knife once, i would. silver lining - at least fase seems to be passing. btw - when's domee gonna b back in little red dot?

about nothing at all..

so..stardust down. pretty funny. i should really start reading ga1man, gotta get past the artwork. neway. saturday was long. woke up kinda late, went for prac, went to recce sam, missed the book i wanted buy (dammit! enough of this! next time should just buy sth wen i see it, no more considering!!), sat around a coupla hours being less-than-productive. watched a cheesy movie. (tsk, dunno if its the history of the franchise pulling him down, i kinda liked the earlier 2 films by r0b z0mbie - at least it was more...bloody. ok, now wait for be0wulf. and 30 days. and more.) neway, slept till full today, ha.. woke up, washed up, rushed down to westmall for meetup. aand...walked around for the next 1.5h. neway. meetup over, returned home for dinner, slacked me arse off, and it's bedtime (n i'm past it, again).

on to happier things. saw some preview pics of j0e mad's work for ult1mates iii, wet...tsk, but the 1st trade will prob be out only around...next aug or sep, and that's assuming they're time-conscious. haiz, that sucks. and hawkeye is a lil' like grifter now leh...dunno. neway was asked a question sometime back that i hadn't really thought about - which is my fave on the x-team? kinda hard leh..i noe wat legend would say. i guess i dun have a fave, not from 616 neway. think 30 days soundtrack would be worth checking out (then again, i've only heard music from the trailer so far). well, if it's anything like underw0rld or re, it shouldn't be too bad.

song of the week - welcome home (sanitarium) by metallica. speaking of sanitariums, i think all watever-supremacists should have their kids shipped off to smith's grove sanitarium. in they go as puny losers, out they come as unkillable badasses. of course, having tyler 'sabretooth' mane as mike helps. just a thought.neway, off to sleep~

mourndae bleus

sleep-deprived. maybe that was a turning point a decade ago. or maybe it was the food. neway. x'mas is coming. n i'm really glad i came across mcfar|ane's tw1sted x'mas, cuz i relate better to that. happy hols, happy people! nah, still some time before it's actually here, no need to think about all the dec things first. except, gwdmmt, there's only 40+ days left? whiskeytangofoxtrot man...
some reactions:
i haven't had a rollercoaster ride in ages, but i'm drained too :)
i can't be pictured sad? thought i'm already there liao. guess frowns n (apparent-)hostility dun cut it huh..i shud work on it.
i look *coff* (can't bring myself to type the word) ?!?!?! auntie's definition is very liberal..or she's very kind..
i am experiencing something like..blast from the past? can't say i welcome it though. THOU SHALT PASS QUICKLY!! (if only i can say this in super booming bass-y voice of that guy)

ho, devildr1ver is my new mudvayne..

r0ckapel la

huh, woke, swam, recce'd house of pain, ate, walked around, ate again, and settled down for the show..pretty good, though i dunno half the songs. still, pretty entertaining and interesting. and happy, for the most part. saw lindley + +sweet there. neway.after.walked around, found a place to sit, drank, it rained, waited ages for cabby. and..that's the end of the day.

neway KX we juz meet up to watch 30 days la, see if any of the other guys are free.

i wish it had rained like this last night.

D.press.Der. sleep it off.

had an interesting 2 day course at the start of the week.then went for a seminar,which i understood kinda nuts about.then had a headache day, and then went for event for which i was twice-deflected-arrowed,which turned out better (and more interesting) than i imagined (and i have quite an imagination). ok, so i dun really like wine. neway a lousy next day, then a sian evening.
and then..a missed-prac day, for which i feel kinda guilty about. probably should've done sekshenals.oh well, it's done. watched pleasure factory, din really understand the ending.cognitive functions cease over the weekends.and watched liverpo0l draw.which made for a non-great night.
depresseder than usual.i hope its e booze, depressants n all.nah..it's just that i am thinking again.and since i don't earn any nobel prizes for the sort of thinking i do, its not a good thing. dammit, i'm already thinking about the next crossroad, barely 2 months into the 1st fork in the road.not that i'm there yet. wondering about the should/can/will i's. some questions don't have ready answers. not ones that i like neway. the what questions, especially. sometimes i wish i'd taken k0kb0on's path. i'd fit the stereotype. then again, it might be an ir0n maiden for me. drifting's a bitch. oh well..think i finally id'd something about meself, which doesn't bode well for me. like, how obvious?? neway, not at all useful. or uplifting. at all. should i be taken with something i don't actually remember the much of? juz a fase, waiting for it to pass. or maybe i'm juz nutsy from lack of release. it's been a year since i last had a (real) run.

so. looking forward to..

stardust
30 days 0f night
ir0n man
the dark kn1ght
wanted (reservations about this 1, i hope its good)
cl0verfield
hulk
hellb0y
pun1sher

all i can think of for now. sian. kinda missing avnl's "becauwz". becauwz...it reminds me of his energy and enthusiasm, both of which i need loads of. sleep it off. sleep it off.

untitled

no monday blues.not really neway..cos i'm on course :) pretty interesting la, but tink i'll still suck at it. neway bought some stuff that i wanted, a few more on the list. i shud have a purchase list, so i wun have to forget to buy some stuff, can 1 shot buy all.economy of time.time management.maximize time.all middle class values, i've learnt.am i middle class then?huh..no bearing.
neway.kinda tinking i shud visit some people.maybe during the weekends, wen i can squeeze swim time in,ha.see how it goes.
sinseh sinseh..had declared myself healed last friday.that is,until a cold drink instigated a pain in the ankle.pui.sinseh sinseh.i tink yap healed liao lor,all in less than a quarter of the time i've spent injured.of course,i can console myself in the fact that mine's old and recurring.and he is young(er), and fit(ter), and a non-ankle breaker.
hmm...think my temper's gotten way worse.i cud take a lot more back wen i was leisurely (i.e. slack and aimless). now, wanna slack oso no mood.pissed off easily (probably cuz i'm sleeping a lot less than wat i want).not that i've every been a heavy sleeper,but...this is like exams period, wen all i wanna do is sleep,but i cannot now.neway.so energy-deficient that i get tired juz thinking about the things i have to do.erm,my boss wun c this right?k,safe.i'm a motivated and productive individual,boss! :D

i have finally decided.i shud look into ways to make things work between us,but until i find a solution, its probably best if we were to cool it awhile,its just not working for us regardless of how i enjoy ur company.for now,this will prob be the last week with my earphones. back to earbuds? :((((((((((

Igualans O-> meetup

ok all guys meetup=the 2 half-guys not joining us.pending any suggestion to the contrary,we will meet at clarke quay on friday at 1900h. i have not decided on place yet,doubt i will book anyplace.if you think a booking should be made,make yourself heard.if you have a suggestion for place to go,make yourself heard.people,friday call me wen you reach the area.i'll let you know where we are (or where i am).that settles it then.cya friday guys.

note: if you do not make any suggestions or make your opinions about watever known, you have effectively given your god-given right to democracy. henceforth, you have surrendered your rights to me, who shalt decide our fate for the evening. thus, you have given up your rights to voice your dissent or dissatisfaction if you do not make any known earlier.

erm,put simply, if something goes wrong on the day itself (e.g. cannot find place cuz too crowded, place we go to food not nice, too ex, not 'cool' ,etc) and you have the cheek to kaopeh me, i will make you very well-acquainted with one of my fingers (guess which one :P).

I have spoken. My will be done. (?)

O_O

yawn.listening to a song.looking at lyrics.coming up blank.say what say what??a genre i'm not into,a language i'm sucky at,a band (liberal semantics,as dr G wud say) i dunno.i'm fucked.
speaking of G,i wonder if he has anything to say wrt to the debate about mentioned deviance.

the fark?

hmm...h0m0 debate has me pissed off.a little la.i'd rather people have some decent semblance of a survey to back up their crusade.not that i'm pro,or against.i'm just anti-m0ral crusaders.granted,i probably know many,or maybe i'm even one.watever.duno ytf they bother trying to not annoy some groups.like,far s they'r concerned,we'r gg to hell neway le,wats e diff?fuck off.
neway.less pissed offy stuff.bought baltim0re,pretty nice so far.
erm,now am not tinking about whether to get all the other hellb0ys liao.juz tinking about wen and how.
and mcr apparently coming here in dec.havn't heard anything about it yet.i shud listen to their live tracks then decide if i wanna go.prob not la.still.

byebye Mr...

ok,juz can't add my name to the title-makes me sound almost respectable.neway effectively tendered my resignation yesterday,dinnoe mag was expecting me to do that,ha.kinda sian,it was last class for sats,so no more early sat mornings le.thu is continuing till end of month though.but...i like sats better.erm,just more sian than i tot i'd be.neway.bleeding tired yesterday.old n tired n grumpy n pissed half the time.gimme a colostomy bag and i'm well on my way to a coffin..
neway saw yant1ng just now while i was out wandering.i shud go out every sunday-been seeing people on the streets.(erm,people i noe.) sian..
finished snake-eater today.ok,gotta save up for ps3 now.
considering juz buying the whole bunch of hellb0y tpb.extremely tempted to do so.so...wats holding me back? erm..hmm....

and,anyway.
nobody.replied.to.my.fucking.post.
tmd,maybe i shud juz jio yan to meet up.assuming he's not too lazy to come out,haa..but,i got something (i think,haven't actually went to dig it up yet) he wans to borrow :)

erm...dammit?

dammit,rushed for time.stayed back today to settle some stuff.bought stuff that turned out to be useless again(wats new).considering sacrificing sound quality for comfort(heathen!).going for yippeeyayolegogogo activities tomorrow(sigh).have to sleep soon(yawn).dammit,24 quickly come back!good luck to stressed-out-and-appears-single-cuz-dressed-slackily friend.erm,that really looks like a lousy place to be,so if u get the chance to get out...neway.dammit,gotta go.

of ripples and stillness

yet another weekend gone.this is how you don't realize how your life flashes past you. sian. on a less pess note, saw kk+michpang & keong+ka1jun today,ha..surprised to see the latter actually in town.amazed that the day wasn't spent on grocery-shopping at jp,haha..ok i'm being a mean arse.neway blew money on comics again today.i hope i stick to the cap i set.n that the cap isn't too liberal.neway the b0ys is nice,in a typical enn1s way.hope it doesn't get cancelled,ha..tot of,but din buy baltim0re.realize that i dun like to buy books from kin0,cuz they stick their price tags and watever labels on the books itself.and kin0 labels are hardly aesthetically pleasing to me.so,hold off on it.try to find a place that sells the book yet doesn't deface the cover.or maybe check if cmm can bring it in.
sian.another checkpoint on the endless (or looping) road.consequences,ripples,and finally nothing.some things probably shouldn't be said ever.then again,it may not mean a thing if they're said.make a ripple,and the water goes back to stillness.or waviness.or watever it had been before the ripple.well.no ripples,regardless of the probable return to stillness.the precedent's been set.i will follow.cuz i'm a sheep. baa~

been a while

hmm,been some time..neway. been at work for about 3 weeks,all still ok.erm,nearest veggie stall closed down,damn sian.been damn sunny this whole week,apart from today (my swim day). $&*^$)@%#^%. had a few meetups this week,all've been fun.some bad news,some average news.for people who're going thru a ruff patch,take care and be strong.while i'm at it,regards to the family as well.after all,i have been a guest at the home before.hmm..woke up to rashes today.for a moment i tot it was caused by some duno-wat-weird-cause.think i'm juz a lil allergic to the booze.haiz.i'm contributing to ah gong's tacks coffers,more than i have to,sianz.i wanna get a psIII sometime in future,if only for mgs4 and g0d of war 3. can't wait,esp the latter.then again,these days i dun have much time for games.watching shows and going out,on top of my routine stuff,r enuff to kill me liao,ha.still,can't miss out on the bashing and slashing.btw old workplace doesn't carry hack/s|ash,kns.maybe shud email yan a list of things to buy hor.o well.time to sleep.hope rash goes away.very quickly.

Song of the Day (of ALL Sundays,actually):
Blue Monday, Orgy. No,dun think the lyrics are relevant.i chose this purely on its title.

kaoz...

i was so happy to see ah moan sacked..n then i read about agger n al0ns0 injuries,kns...neway i hope ah moan remains in BPL,ah bo no entertainment liao..then again,if he goes spain oso bwey pai,can kaopeh with barca again,hahaha..

neway a collection of thoughts -
1st day of work,which was last wed,i saw a jc senior on the train.only after she alighted did i remember that i used to talk to her.huh,i dun even remember liao..
missed gotchance gathering,sianz...
huh,work's been ok so far (probably cuz i haven't done much of it yet - this week had 2 days workshop), people are nice. but. learning curve is kinda steep, since pretty newbird.n old 1 fly away liao...still, i think quite a lot of history grads (senior batches,so obviously,i dinno them before) there. erm,i hope people remain nice,ha.
sianz.i'm still excused RMJ.
sianz,i'm broke.and lotsa things waiting for me to buy.
neway tomorrow's friday liao.sat whole day gone.left sun.weekend's gonna fly by again.watever happened to the benefits of taking back sunday?haiz...
shiok,prison break's back.and j0di lyn o'keefe!more series coming back :)
so many shows,so little time.maybe sun shud be designated couch potato day.hmm...

monblu

well,if it isn't my 1st pre-monblu..tsk,sian,weekends fly.back to waking before the sun rises,sianz..neway,i think i like my sat tuition slots,though my feet are usually complaining.the kids are really cute.cuz very young,ha..i hope i can carry on with it.on to other (depressing) things.i still have to do readings,haiz..and duno why can't read some stuff at home-where got time to read in office?kns..o well,cannot believe it,but i'm still broke (well,not dirt broke is kinda an improvement liao)...oh saw legend yesterday for choir,long tahm no see him liao.played pool after that-he is as usual.sometimes,i think i wun miss him if i,like,dun see him for a decade,cuz he'll still be the same even after 10 years,hahaha...oops,and juz for the record (since he say i no work oso kaopeh sian,work oso kaopeh sian): i was extremely happy when i was unemployed k?do things that i want,sleep till shiok,game till shiok.only downside was the dirtbrokeness,ha..o well,received a call form l0ng asking me if i cud work next week,surprised that i'm not off the roll.or maybe i am but they were desperate.still,sundays r precious now,and my feet aren't up to standing for so long,so...
maybe i shud be depressed,but i dun think i am.stuff happens/ed,and regardless of how things are wanted,things are juz the way they are.

Day 1

been quite slack.din do much work.intro'd to many people,i only remember m1chtay (ya,she is working there too,just different dept).oh,i kok-ed my ankle,tink i'm set 2 weeks back in recovery,haiz..met lunar-phoenix for dinner.tokked.nice.home.
totally unrelated,ir0n man trailer is damn cool la.i'm such a sucker for comic adaptations.May 2 08!

slack-an-end

hai,i used to tell myself that my air steward/ess friends and i are pretty similar - we get around a lot (they fly,i bum). now no more liao,i'm not getting around anymore. not that i don't appreciate the chance to get off me arse n do something (constructive) for a change,but...bumming around's addictive.. neway..i was swearing wen i woke this morning,cuz raining again,and i wanted to go swim (last chance to make myself more skin-cancer-prone in the pool). so,stayed in for half the day,played the eat-snake game (now i kinda get y meng thinks it's addictive),skipped lunch,saw the sun's rays casting shadows all around my neighborhood,ran (ok,maybe not ran,but definitely rushed) to get my stuff to bia to the pool before the sky decides to take a leak again. neway expected to zbl there,but i actually could swim (stretching the term a lil'), and i did get some sun.tsk,now i miss nuspo0l even more,hai... aaaannyway.dun think my headphones are even gonna last till my 1st (perm job) paycheck liao.as soon as i get some money,i'm gonna get me a new 1.haven't walked around to recce yet though.so,anyone wans to buy my old set of headphones?not that old la,3 months,tops. sianz..neway tokked (ok,sms'd) abit to witchy-nice.yawn.i'm glad i went to swim juz now,wun have problem going to sleep early.kns,i should be in bed before a.m. hits.wth.i hope hours will be stable.actually i need it to be,ah bo i gonna trouble other people liao. ona happier note,many shows are returning! her0es, BSG, the un1t, n pris0n break! the silver lining!!!

long time

so..the collaboration with amadeus is over.its been a generally fun n good experience,but taking back sundays is even better! weekends seem longer alredy,ha..neway i din think the concert went well,crap.neway after the concert went to song's exhibition, kinda cool.n wrt to the backlash,i really dun understand wats the deal.people lie to people all the time wat.better for art than for selfish gains,ha...oh ya,neway saw k0k bo0n there,tokked a while and got updated a lil' about old 3 s1g people..after that went to cine for supper (them) n dessert (me), uber tired la...after that,next day met up with 2/3 of 3some n walked around..supposed to go zechouse after that,but skipped it cuz kinda sickish.so,saw meng's new room (looks even smaller).

hmm,wat else...i received a cher day present,kinda suspected it wasn't actually meant for me (cuz the kid din noe i was gonna be in that class till..i was in that class).still,she said it's for me wen i asked her,so i take lor,ha..a barb1e card somemore..

hmm,gonna w0rk at NatArch from next wed onwards, hope watever checks turn out fine.n hope ppl there r...ok.1 more week of freedom! n i need to tidy up my room somemore,haiz...

v1ch0rale

huh..long day,went for usual prac.lotsa work to be done.haiz..after that went vich0rale concert.neway saw gerald,0pt,michtay there.n some others with whom i'm not too familiar,thus i remained AS.oopps,n saw luh0ng at train station..neway,back to concert,i think i always get depressed watching choral concerts.after listening to the 1st half,and going for an extremely necessary p break,i felt like listening to sp1neshank.oh well.6 more days...

forgot to mention,heard some feedback about someone when i went for interview the other day.i wudn't have known,but,oh well...these kinda stuff r complex,which i am not.

sian..think i'll probably be an unfi|ial son later,gotta revise before prac again at nite.i juz hope i wun b alone (in a way) there.speaking of which,i suspect someone's the sis of someone,though unlikely,ha..the face so similar.

maybe i get depressed in choral concerts cuz i think of the past.and what's the past for,if not to depress you n show you wat a shithole the present is? :)

991pierce

hmm...final week before sundays are mine again..been kinda occupied,j0bhunt has taken a backseat for now..
hmm,started job with kids last week,pretty fun..of course,that's before i get a class (n responsibilities) of my own.then,interview on thursday,which i fucked up,haa..
neway went back school on tuesday to talk to pr0f l0ckhart,then dropped by to see gnap.sian.still problematic all over.havn't seen sinseh,gotta go next week.
hmm,had a coupla weird dreams,1 weirder than the other.still being pathetic,1 click away.eh..wanna go hit the pool,but rains everytime i plan to go.
pool are playing well this season.well,better start than previous few seasons.hope they can maintain.
reminded this morning why i've been sticking to black tops so far.and why its not a good idea to start changing.
reminded of the past,a lil'.not that i need much of it,but it's different thinking about sth and hearing about it,yes?
lotsa stuff that i still wanna do.but dun really know how to.or too lazy.

yawn,tired.

interview i

eh,had this interview juz now at NhaytchB,saw agne5 there, as well as this other history grad.neway talked a bit,then i went for my interview,which i thought didn't last very long (or go very well).then went to mar1na to have lunch,saw ms gay there when i was about to leave,talked a little,then left for home.tired.i wanna sleep.but...tuition later.and tomorrow another interview.so,yawn..

neway had this dream a coupla nights back,when dream-me knew i was having a dream.like,usually u'd noe its a dream,but its the detached-u who noes that dream-u isn't real and (detached)-u r really watching a dream from an outsider's point of view?neway dream-me knew it was a dream,cuz it was such an improbable situation that it had to be a dream,right?or maybe this is common,for dream-ppl to noe that they are in a dream.neways...

i feel like headed for dreamsville...but tuition in half an hour,SBS............

post-nati0nal day

hmm...i recall some stuff tt i felt like typing out,but i'm so damn concussed that i hav trouble remembering stuff...erm...

ok,i'll juz go sleep...

weekend

yawn...pretty sian day..got adapter from y1ngt1ng in the morning,headed to C55 early to run thru amadeus songs - can't say its been very uplifting..neway after that prac,did some songs,prac ended,hung around a while then decided to go h0lland v.dinner,then moved to essential brue.was momentarily tempted to order a cocktale,but stuck to my pledge - gahmen's rich enuff,doesn't need me contributing more tax revenue.been a bloody day,apart from a short spike at brue.after that went home.probably so sian cuz my sunday gets burnt so quickly.sunrise,wake up,travel,prac,sunset,travel,home.

sometimes,u juz hav no idea wtf u r doing wen u r doing sth,but doing it neway.n for all my realistic assessments,i am still hopeless,pui.hmm,pui pui pui pui,juz for kicks.no more clicks.still,i wonder wat letter it is now - c?e?g?p?t?v?

oi.stop it ar.

i feel happy today (i hope its not the end of the world tml)

morning,dragged me sorry arse outta bed,gamed a while,then went to meet mag for movie (planned)..alas,kong shifu forgot to check e listings for TODAY wen she checked it yesterday,so we din watch,cuz no good time...ate lunch,dropped by her house to drop off her stuff,went back to play arcade..damn,my suckiness makes me miss MBK's even more..neway afternoon met up wif legend n jenn n ongtaitai at kopibean...talk talk talk..ongtaitai never change lor,juz like legend..after that jenn drove us to viv0,i took bus to mar1na sq to meet kaxe for the tix,went for the concert at nite,went for late dinner,talked abit about the others,went home.

still thinking about whether to take up offer..would depend on them la,ball's in their (her?) court..i hope i can though.will tok to pr0f L about it tml,for more opinions..still..the illusion of choice is a powerful - well,not drug - intoxicant?in a milder sense..think thats y dem0cracy is sucha hot concept-commodity for many consumers..so,this thing would be a nice thing to have, provides either practical resources or a morale boost.

neway kaxe seems to lead a really tough life now...even worse than wen i was staying over in sch during reading week..may he be released soon...

kinda miss 3s1g days oso...

"Wiiiiiiii~~~lson!!!"
"yo."

"Oi Wilson,wake up!"
"wo yao shui jiao~~"

Y0nGchen,u r an idi0t...

i'm bleeding suicidal - have to wake early later and still up,dammit..neway again,i have absolutely nothing constructive to say,save for more whining..and the burning desire to get jc tuiti0n - i've been missing out!!

haiz,i'm like,bloody lost..wat do i do wen there're no more hacking,slashing,eye-gouging,body-ripping,spine-breaking to be done?say,can't u kill ur old man faster?say within the year?nah,prob not...n prob gonna be on ps-slee...darn...n i cudn't get h1tman 3l0gy,haiz...violemeter gathering dust...

hmm..n missed out on a few things over the past few weeks..thanx to ws for being nice during wedding dinner..n congrats to pollie,for good results despite (i heard) worries about work.

education in 15 min? u betcha,juz tok to gaiety to learn something new! don't hesitate, go on, click on that name right now!

hmm,wat else...u r an idiot?ha..el pathetico?

oh right,i love the design on my brown tee,the one on my msn display...the tree looks very nice,the kid nicer,the man nicest.too bad the shirt's quality not good,sux..if only i can find sth of better quality..

tokked to gnap juz now,having fun in land of smiles now...tsk,she has rejected jobs offered to her by organizations that have rejected me :(

oops,n found san1tar1um by l1mp b1zk1t,nice..too bad no funnyman..still,i shud tidy up my playlist n kick out songs i dun even like a little..why bother,with the more than ample memory?cuz i do not like clutter.if it ain't here to stay,then juz bloody let it go!oh well...see wen i feel hardworking ba..

another week

my weekend flew by and its monday again.i'm blue dabedeedabedye.hmm...sat ph0tosh0ot was quite fun.after that had durians,yay..ate till wanna puke,haa...after that,thanx to foosh for the lift home.after that came home online awhile,slept.shiok.i remember it rained in the morning,pretty heavily i tink.then,woke for real,prepped,left for ama prac.so far away... neway it was nice again.people were nice,rather educational for me i guess.if only we din have to memorize,kns...oh well,nice songs,apart from japanese song.i hate them.after that,went off for some lonesome zbl-ness,headed for home.rained again.abit too early in my opinion.neway a lil' detour and i headed home.had mushroom soup,nostalgic,ha..

neway,i like l1mp b1zk1t's version of sanitarium leh,dunno where to find.and jim breuer's impersonation was funny,kids song was -er.i like some songs i wun usually listen to,wen they r done by the right bands in the right way.but...few and far between.

neway,met up wif IV last...thursday.thanx for lunch bro!after that headed home to nua somemore.tuition.then had durian preview,ha..oops,and thanx bro again,for lobang.

shite, i seem to have taken an achronological approach.kinda confusing?or maybe its cuz my heads in a mess.i suppose classmate's...comment,to put it nicely,is more than warranted.reflect!too much free time isn't too healthy for the brains.luckily for me then that damage is limited since i dun hav much to start with.then again,i kinda like life now.apart from the brokeness of course.tsk tsk,escapism...

tiring weekend

yawn..just for this weekend,i'm glad i'm a bummer.reached home around 4 this morning from cv stuff,then left for unliked-cc around noon for more prac.tsk,1 sep is coming,an zua hoh?si mi gua ma bwey hiao..erm,oh well..tired...

erm,forgotten watever i might have wanted to type.oh.just thanx to hq for white pants.neway b@ybe@ts coming soon,3880 anyone going?

oh well,hope all goes well for fren,shit happens.if something comes outta it in future then good,if not then hope for the best ba.i suppose i'm in equilibrium for now,unstable as it may be.then again,these things are all unstable anyhow.huh...

yawn,tired...erm,(kinda) tidied up my room (finally) today, damn shiok to throw everything out..well,obviously i exaggerate..neway settling some stuff on comp before i go koon.tml..gotta resume j0bhunt,sianz...neway was happy at commencement,think this is the last time i'll see so many of them together liao.oh well,waiting for people to send/upload pics,ha..

erm..damn tired now..but still gotta finish up on my stuff before heading to bed..that is,unless i'm given no choice..

graduation, wedding dinner

hmm...bought a white shirt juz for afternoon.erm,reached.changed.sat.clapped.stood.walked.received.sat.stood.clapped.that's about it,ha..neway had fun walking around after that, a little sad actually,ha..oh well..neway after that went to we1sheng's place to l0ngbang y0ngheng's car to sh1q1ng's wedding.nice to see a coupla frens, beena long time.curious y some were guests and some weren't.oh well,it was a nice dinner.she still speaks the same though,ha..tsk,that's it la,the end.all the best to my classmates,congrats to the c0uple.

none

yawn...si beh sianz..as usual..neway,thanx to bestie and bui for dinner with wayne on mon,then met up with flo for drinks. erm,saw |i|a and gu0wei at raff|es city..hmm...dun really remember wat i wanted to type.apart from the usual.erm,a precedent i shud follow?stop being an idiot.blah...i wanna run.

more KIVs (updated)

Gh0st in the F0g
Bleed1ng Mascara
R1ght S1de of Bed
Paper W1ngs
Grace_Run5away
juz wings_fleathers
Krat0s
bruises 0n ur cheek

more bla's

eh,today went back to collect g0wn,met up wif prof L before that.after that,went to collect.saw j0anne there,then saw agnes,then saw clement..erm,after that went back library tried to settle the book crap,dropped by on the zapshop aunties,then ran off for lunch.saw gwen n 10 on the way down greenhouse lift.neway lunch was...hot.but i din sweat it.i apparently juz became the crab at the mv segment of 'sick nurses'.red.n that crab was supposed to be alive,happily walking ard on e beach.nope i dunno why its red either.oh,n saw l1hu1 there,she's been working 2 days after her exams ended!!pretty nice hours too.oh well..neway sat down to slack,n i drank kopi.then,started walking to bugis junction.along the way yx bought chocs,n we had dessert.then he settled his stuff at m1.which,i may add,made us wait super damn long.hmm...neway after that they went on home.oops,and yx's job sounds nice..glad he's enjoying it.neway i headed on to kino awhile,then went to p0pular,then took bus back.din take s long s i tot it wud.n then went library to get more books that i can't finish reading in time.and...thats the end of my colorful and eventful life.oops,i meant day.now i noe wat lurks beneath my fullconscious.bla..

KIV

oh crap..before i head for shower then bed,things to not forget...

gh0st in the f0g
bleeding mascara
r1ght s1de of bed
paper w1ngs

bla bla bla..

lessee...hmm,i bot headphones,nothing too fancy,just lightweight ones.sound is good,but i'm alredy nitpicking at it le..ergonomics,for one..oh well,i suppose this marks the end of earphones for me..the uncle was really really nice oso..jaben,4th floor,at the adelphi (opp Funan)..

hmm,wat else..

ok,another precedent's coming up soon.i dunno.the last one was kinda...tsk,forget it.neway,maybe this time it'll be the the last precedent.i hope not.oh well,doesn't make a difference anymore.

eh,resumed jobsearch.and getting depressed.i should've bia'd for law,or engine,or anything else.or i shud've gone for i-wanna-be-a-teacher indoctrinations..oh well,all over le.see how it goes.i mean,how long can i stay unemployed,right?wait,dun answer that.to other stuff...

hmm....i have no idea wat else to talk about.except maybe i'm past my bedtime.so..until the next blue moon.


shite,not ergonomics.erm,design comfort ba.haa...watever..

one tahms power

hmm..been a longtime since i last did this..lazy la,ha..

neway..
Journey wif SEAgualans:

hmm..doubt i'd b posting pics,lazy (again)..people who've asked for pics,i've alredy emailed,so..plus,legend shud b posting,so i'm clear :)

hmm,had a few weird(er) dreams,at least for the 1st few days overseas..1st stop,H0ChiMinh City..din do much,found veggie diners that has super cheap zicha..well,my most favouritest eating place of the whole trip,on hindsight..neway visited CuCh1 and Cao Dai temple,then headed to Phn0m Penh..

took a city tour,and...it acually seems nicer than HCMC..at first..neway the infrastructure was nicer than HCMC,i juz dun like it as much,ha..the people were more...aggressive,which i dun like...its more tragic too..and,seems like there really are juz 2 reasons tourists go to the country,gen0cide and angk0r.no wonder they were so pissed by alleged comments by thai actress.

Siem Reap.Quiet place.arrival was a torture,people jostling for cabbie deals..i almost wanted to go with one cabby due to his,erm..ad board which signalled his desire to not irritate,ha..erm,went angk0r what and got my ankle sprained.at least,it was a legit sprain,and not the man u sprain (or twist - nope,dunno e diff,if any)..

on to Bangk0k.erm,basically din do much here la,except sleep,drink,go shopping centre,play arcade.oh man the arcade here is so much better.got winning eleven,ps2 version.20min play for 10baht.we shud'v played league,ha..oh bladyhell,went shopping wif all 'cept ang-he sick- and saw a nice (by my standards) belt but din buy..went back for it n it was gone...dammit..neway too much time in bkk,so headed to Pattaya for a nite..the place was great,damn big.for the 1st time we all shared 1 room.n 1 toilet,which is..not so great.neway.watched headed back to the capital,watched 3 shows there - 0cean's13,effeff2,and thai show-targeted-at-fetish-crowd-masquerading-as-a-horror show.well,it was ok.just...not very scary.oops,then we went back to lean-mountain,pub there.i din like it there very much,the speakers were on so bloodyloud that i feel self-abusive even sitting there.my poor eardrums.n its me-of-the-self-deafening-movement tokking.that has kinda changed,but later on that.erm,bui got pissed wen legend n i started singing (back in the room)...erm,everybody slept.i just did a lil later,ha..

last stop Krabi.we were lucky.3 days scheduled here,rained upon arrival.but,lucky that it was sunny the day we went out to sea.erm,kinda spent half the day doing nothing of any real fun.the next day i spent sleeping.the whole day.course it was raining and i din feel like jalaning.last day was a bit more active.rained again,of course (we had hor xin with us),but we got ito the pool.well...erm,next day,slacked indoors again,cuz of rain.slacked at Max to while the time away while waiting for our ride to the airport.bui took 2 hr to tink of Micc0li,ha.but he dun need no internet.all hail the guru.

and.thats it.end.back in singapore,to potable tap water.

5

played badmint0n with bestie, flo and pris on sunday..fun..but bestie called for lassie again -.- neway went to walk around abit after that..

yawn..boring,i dun like to see my room these days..so messy,and i so dun wanna clean it up,kns..neway went to watch blades 0f gl0ry today wif yx n zx,hah,ffunny show..neway got a gift somemore,biang,thanx..

hmm,i think my life since my last post hasn't changed much,other than the obvious passing of time.watching tv,sleeping,jalan,listening to zen..yawn..very boring leh..neway heard update about fae,congrats.hmm...very sianz..

tsk,this week will pass damn quickly..i hope i dun kena uncle ho's revenge over there..

yawn...

yawn..after a boring facup watched with the ntu peeps,i'm home,thankful for not having to watch penalties. its a good result :) manu no double,ah moan gets e lesser prizes..now looking forward to wed nite!have faith,if even a defence that has tra0re could keep cresp0 n 5heva out,then anything's possible,no?haha..

been coughing like nuts.the power kind..after prac today,worsen to become sore throat..kns,i juz wanna play game all day long..krat0s!!

oops,forgot to mention..saw jc class rep at m0m that day,she working there,so qiao..went there with e|ane in the morning cuz she works near that place..n saw alv1n530 again after dinner with yiting and gang,he never change at all lor..ok,maybe hairstyle..but he does the same things and asks the same questions,ha..i wonder if there's anything to it..

6 days to results,yay...hmm,i shud make a trip to cwp soon,been so long le..i prob shud oso tidy up my room le,its disgustingly messy..

hmm..played bball on on fri nite,quite nice..the n+u peeps were funny..nice to see old frens oso..plus, met alv1n n r0b1n...a good evening,all in all..then again,its probably the last time i play in a while.at least,it should be.my body's coming apart.sianz.maybe i should take up golf,if i had the money,which i dun.so..pilates or yoga maybe,if i had the flexibilty,which i dun either.so..i'm screwed.just have to make do with limited running and limited jimming.

neway,exams over.this sem,was a buildup.from easiest paper to hardest.so,i worked hard n progressively less effort was put in.huh,like that makes sense.then again,that assumes i make sense.which i do,occasionally.n,i progressively dun care.more stuff to worry about than exams.unemployment,for instance.still,not looking forward to 25th may.hmm..

i should...apply for commencement,among other things,soon.such a bother though,tsk...

night 5

been quite unproductive as the nights progress..probably cuz not sleeping well in the day..idiot..neway,had a rather fun day trying to study on day 6..lotsa tokking cock..then again,rather behind in the already-tight schedule liao..tsk tsk..i wish i cared more..

neway checked out LP's new album recently..less angsty and angry liao..think i read somewhere that ches+er said they had to grow and progress as a band..well,if that's the result of growth,well.. nice knowing you,LP..si|ent civi|ian sounds quite similar to sp1neshank though,probably cuz i can't detect any difference in style.assuming there's any.

sometimes,its easy to say that we shouldn't live life with regrets.just do,say what you want to.no time for useless things like apprehension,what if,or any of the sort.of course,that's a good idea if you're gonna die like...soon.for the less/more fortunate with decades more to live,some risks just aren't for taking.unless,again,one has a foot in a grave.or crematorium,in our context.so.simple things to do,say aren't that simple.or maybe its not cuz i make it not.a click (or 2),a phonecall,a letter,a message.things i'd do only if its the last thing i do.of course,that assumes i'm un/lucky enuff to know in advance.

on to other stuff.couldn't quite believe that for a supposedly-experienced and well respected statesman,such things came outta his mouth(of course,this is based on reports).not that i've ever been a great fan,but i thought he'd have mellowed a lil' by now.not particularly neighbourly,his comments.on a more local level,i'd be rather perturbed if said statesman was referring to me.in the absence of A,B follows.so,in order to stave off B,A is justified.what if B isn't an issue for me in the 1st place?

hai,depressing.

night 3

huh..got back my arts project today,think this is the highest grade i've ever received in nus,and its a non-academic assignment.nice..neway gave it to prof l0ckhart liao,so,that's the end of it..tomorrow gonna get back diasp0ra term essay,hope it'll be ok..hope hope..since participation is non-existent.speaking of which,i'm dead for m'sia as well..hmm,hope my classical empires assignments oso ok,did them in a rush..so sianz of studying le,been studying the nights while sleeping my days away..guess hls will start after exam ba..

anyway pr0f l0ckhart told me that i'll probably not like the heritage job,so i guess its a good thing they din call me huh..

may will be happening..in addition to my entry into the unemployed ranks of society,i need to go watch spidermanIII..erm,then apparently got new show on tv - the beginning,but..it reminds me more of the end rather.so,i dun like it,haha..and,end-april marks the return of peter petrelli,yay~

aaannnddd...no way i'll end this with a yay,so,on to suckier stuff..erm,i will miss year 4,enjoyed it lots.and i'm glad i took the advice of witchy,speaking of whom,i havn't been talking to for a while,apart form that time i called her to ask for help.i havn't even updated her on my life (or lack of)..so,will miss the nights spent in honroom..plus,think its sad that i won't be able to run in campus at night ar..i could come back after grad la,but it'll be different,i think,even assuming i make the effort to..think i'll have a final run before i leave...

mugging

sianzzz,deadbeat from studying in school..actually deadbeat from staying awake in ungodly hours,trying to study. then again,this is probably the only course of action left.study at night,sleep the day away.rather vampy..speaking of which,spike got his ibrow scar from a mugging,i believe...yay.soon-to-be-unemployed-leech.of.society-non.contributor..

totally unrelated,nobody likes marilyn..i feel so sorry for him...why do people think he look like ghost?apart from the fact that he does?hmm...
yawn..need to study somemore,i'm only at the first part of slack module,still got my work cut out for me..

erm..tsk...eh..nah...hmm...haiz...

yawn..just finished my critique..n i havn't done my essay..suicidal much? sianz,wondering if i shud sleep,class at 10am later..but if dun sleep,i'll die if there's tutorial.tsk..i'm emulating the legendary indecisiveness,knn...see how...

neway been watching btvs recently..n found out that there're buffystudies in some uni,in london or something..so,looking at jobs that require 'a degree in any discipline', i could have majored in buffystudies,come back and applied for those jobs, and they would have to consider my application,no?then again,they need not,n need not lemme noe about their neednot-ness..sigh...i'm hamstrung by my hamstrings...

on to CL:
i hope t0tti plays, scores, and gets rested..(he came, he saw, he scored)..oh,wud b a bonus if cr0nald0 concedes a penalty (even better if it was a dive,haa...)
i hope chelski kena whack by valencia (go morientes!), but if can shun bian make valencia work hard for it...help pool open road..
i hope milan lose,haha..
n of course,i hope pool wins easy,haha...dun risk injuries..

yawn..my kick up my arse this sem comes too late..i'm taking yan way too seriously...

GO GO GO~~~!!!!

sianz,think i have to go for the c0mmencement liao..me mum wills it,and its their degree anyhow-they paid for it...so,i should be very enthusiatic about it..n tell them that wow,after a day,i have been enlightened and thus feels the burning desire to go..erm,watever la,no need so soon...
neway wonder if i should follow up on email to friend, is it normal to not receive a reply after 3 days?(n no,yan,not tokking about u,ha) perhaps friend doesn't use this email regularly,or too busy to check email recently..or perhaps i should just send sms,far simpler..
neway saw a friend st from ns on fri, been a longtime..then again quite weird,cuz saw ylup from same bmt plato0n earlier in the day,tokked about chinups,which then led me to think about this friend st that i met (cuz we used to have a lot of trouble assisting him, he had rather heavy bones, i think)...nehow,most of us dun see one another anymore..i dun even see same-bday friend le,though he oso lives in the area..

sidetracking,i am so gonna bwang tml's test...

dichotomies and shades of grey

hmm...not really sure wtf i'm doing here,since i shud be in bed..but,since i'm here,might as well make the most of it..

was thinking of collaboration..n remembering wat ah mak said in class about it, case study malena..no black-and-white's, all shades of grey..which leads to a work of fiction i recently..consumed..kax would know about it,though he may not know he knows..NNNNnnnnewayz..so,hmm..kinda lost my thoughts for awhile..so,neway about collaboration..and the related topic of occupation..well,no one here knows any other other than the japanese one..anyway..demonized ideas of them aren't new..nor totally fiction..just that,the -ve's played up and the +ve's down..well,linking the idea of demonizing to west-special-joy,no one wants to think about the possibility that anyone could have done whatever was done..so,they are especially evil..can't (dun want to) be explained..anomaly..well,if only i could believe that..for life went on under the evils, in a more-or-less normal fashion..so..bad things happened,good things happened..shit happens wen there r people, n any person can do anything,put in the right environment,had the right background,has the right buttons pushed...so,my world is grey..or greyer than how most people might see it..which is why i'd probably hate moral crusaders

not that it's related in anyway watsoever,but i like this alot..forgot who said it,ah hong or bruce: history has changed from an ontological issue to an epistemological issue..

neway i like ah mak..he can be quite inspiring sometimes..too bad i'm a lil' too cynical to be inspired much..then again,any bit is a good bit..quoting 177urfett, "the oomph"~

i'm getting extremely adept in showing my use of time in the form of time-wasting..

sianz is my middle name

was looking at this page,then decided i had nothing i wanted to write about..but after a visit to another site (i.e. time-wasting, of which i have extreme expertise), i decided that..tsk,i am sad cuz they killed cap :( though i think his wings and boots are kinda erm..uncool, i never thought they'd kill him..though it probably won't last long (juz look at hawk-i)

neway..my vice is comics..han's is shoes,meng's is booze (n manga)..sianz..working less is supposed to let me take a step back from it all,but..but..i juz am not..kns
oh well..

i should start talking to people..about serious and adult stuff..like the future..sigh..why bother thinking and planning when it doesn't matter neway?read an article sometime back,that most people dunno wat they wanna do,and even if they do,they are probably wrong..so,all this career-planning bs is juz that..we are playing a global game,n i'm not having fun :(

windy night..

hmm..recently been thinking about this question from H0lb0's class..i am not the same person that i was yesterday,of last month,or last year..or 5 min ago..so,i'm in flux..which means,the me that was me 5 min ago doesn't exist anymore..no more..became something else now..so,that means that for people u (ok,i) don't see often, or for a very long time, the person i think of as my friend isn't the same person as i know le..my friend was the friend whom i last saw,not who i'm seeing now..which links me to another topic..say,u haven't seen a (rather close) friend (from the past) for a long time..then,meet up and talk about stuff..how do u noe u are still (relatively) close friends?like,see if you still feel close?feel the chemistry?tsk,looked up the definition,and the various definitions don't look very...useful..so neway,definition of friend involves either practical considerations or subjective personal opinions/feelings..so going by the latter angle,how you know for sure?like,if u think of someone as a clsoe friend,n think that you get along well,how do you know that it's reciprocal?like,the person could be the same way towards all his other normal (i.e. less than close) friends,no? so..if u meet up with a close [friend from before=A] n the [person now=B] isn't [the same person as before i.e. A] (cuz obviously people change), are you still close friends with the person (A who is now B)? which links back to the first question..since people are in flux, then what u feel towards/think about them are..not updated,no?then the person u are feeling for/thinking about (from the past) doesn't really exist in the now then,ya?so that entity has effectively ceased to exist,to be replaced by a newer version of the person u used to noe but don't noe now...

then again,this problem (of not actually knowing) would still persist even with constant contact and communication,since nobody really noes what others actually are inside. hmm,i believe i just demonstrated my waste of time...

F.eels like ice tokking

kaoz,i is idiot..idiot idiot idiot..luckily no permanent/lasting damage..neway,i think i like the p0pular at bra5 ba5ah complex,many interesting books..hmm..neway went walking around today,got some stuff i needed,din get some stuff i wanted..tsk,oh well,another day..neway spect0r's m0m sick,hope she's ok..but,but...in comes farre||..tink i still have the scars from my last module under him..but,at least assignments all cleared liao,can juz whack readings,midterms,then exams..damn,now nam gonna be my most siao-on mod le..another newayz..pool is thru,woohoo~ though a bit nerve-wrecking at the end..

ok,since i'm on a roll here...i seem to recall h0mefield mentioning sth about am0rtalk0mbat..then..i seem to be able to conjure up replication a bit better when i'm half-asleep/awake.oh well,it probably seemed an improvement cuz everything's fuzzy in that state of mind..improvement is already slipping now..shit,concentration's gone..i dun wanna work on assignment le,just leave it as it is now..well,considering how things are now,sometimes you (ok fine,i) have to wonder if i've made a mistake..well obviously i have made mistakes,but not about the general..talking about specific mistakes..then again,seeing how things turn out,its not that hard to convince self that its for the better..wait.i lack sleep.yawn.making less sense than usual.

vermillion - slipknot
world so cold - mudvayne
fade to black - metallica

hmm,

and...i can't even produce a replication that looks anything like..and i thought the last attempt was bad,ha.
no ability,no imagination,no memory,no sense,no intelligence,no skills,no hope,no courage,no eq,no learning,no improvement,no spine,no nothing.

week 7

so...had a sucky presentation..received rather surprising grades for 2 assignments..saw a specialist and calmed my paranoia..lost my watch..had a rather fun (by my standards) gathering with cv..missed 1st half of a good match..drank some very gao milk-chocolate-dunnowat (supposed) alcohol..went legend's house..watched vv..met up with old choir members..trying to continue with assignment..and so,30min to week 8...

tsk...i so wish i can skip the in-between's and go into sp1neshank,RHR was about 57 higher than average..hmm,for all my bitching about their PC-learning curves, i suppose mine has hit a plateau by now,assuming i've made any headway there at all..then again,i suppose i should be grateful for the little things in life ba..then again,it was nice seeing b0rys again,still as frenly as ever..neway i dun like this year's version of m1ssa brev1s,sounds too...happy?

maybe i should just screw the considerations,go be a teacher for 3 years (or watever) n jump off a building at the end of bond.at least that sounds like a concrete plan.

this is so sp1neshank night...

hmm...worked 3 days this week...i think that's my fave job..which means i probably won't get to do it for a living..then again,i'm not sure i wanna do that for a living...its fun and i get to do product familiarization that i like,but..it's ingrained mentality la..

neway saw jadegreen n energyslide at cine yesterday..(or the day before..) i tink former din really change much leh,ha...still recognizable...saw mandy on the bus just now oso..

dammit...halfway through the sem liao...nothing done,for now n future..kns...was talking to cousin during ny dinner,he seems to have a lot of paths open...envious,though he prob wud say it's not much to be envious at..well,at least i noe who to find if i wanna pick up some stuff in the future..

i tink han's gg thru quarter-life crisis...hmm...wonder y i dun feel something similar..perhaps i'm way ahead of him n alredy at the stage of pre-death pessimism...no wait,that's just me being realistic...

gonna miss ah mak's class on thursday,at least part of it..sianz,that's the most interesting class of all this sem lor...kns..just hope that there's nothing seriously wrong,and won't take too much time..

dammit...Ann U. Ass is a damn holiday eater...i just had to bitch about this again.sigh...back to school tml.yay.

cny

well,i suppose this is a good time to be happy,thankful,content,yada yada yada...not. first of all,Ms Ann ate 2 of my holilays away...then,i got this neighbor below my unit who's such a beee~~~atch..knn,8+pm come up my house kaopeh about noisy...tmd,someone is so lucky that she hasn't managed to speak to me yet...amazing,she made my mum scold her ong-bak-egg...i feel so justified in calling her a beeeeeatch...actually,i tink i'll call her a fucking bitch..

neway..paraphrasing ah mak, the words u use reflect how u think,something about urself...n jiayong was very concerned about my...liberal use of adjectives n nouns that time we met up for brunch...hmm,i tot i was pretty liberal all the time?hmm,back to ah mak again,i kinda like his classes..luckily i din cave under pressure n drop his module,so interesting..

i think i have a fave album...h0|ywo0d by MM..though i dun have the other 2 albums which are supposed to go together in a trilogy of sorts...comfortingly depressing..

hmm,informed a few days ago of this fact:mag n +De know each other..we used to play together?? wat did we play? when did we play?? wat happened to memories of my secondary school years? hmm...a time of (more intensive) stupidity n a little stuff i'd rather forget.. oh well..

doing readings...trying to...sux, no motivation...

oh well,gonna see ah mak in a few hours time. yay./!(?)

it's been awhile

hmm...watched pan's labyrinth..liked pale man,but screen time too short..n,how the hell did he manage to eat all those children neway?he can't walk fastER to save his life..neway it was...ok la..oh well,at least she died...i dun like her,cuz she caused the death of those 2 fairies..over 2 grapes..right,wat a good deal..if gonna cause the death of others,at least make it worthwhile ma..

neway had ah mak's class today..wasn't as bad as the welcoming class...or maybe no one's pissed him off yet...

neway supposed to read for ek's class tml,but...slacked whole day..sianz..juz read a bit tml then...bloody hell,2nd week already...shite,grad day's coming...i hope i din screw up my gaps stuff..

sigh...

hmm...walked around town to get meng's present..finally..legs sour..

went to h0lland v early to wait for the rest, shun bian did readings...in the end only we 4 appeared,kns..but thanx jenn for the treat...

we r old..

i feel laconic..

yawn..

sigh..

zzz..